In a sea of talks and information about how to improve your coding skills, this talk will make a case for bad code in your everyday life. In this talk you'll learn how and why you should write bad code. Abstract Inspired by "the queen of sh*tty robots" and a talk I had recently with a friend about how often our code "optimizations" and best practices don't matter, this talk will point out some of the obsessions we have as professional programmers that don't matter and can even be harmful to the progress of a product. The talk will show how identifying as a "bad programmer" can improve your skills in the long run and help you become a better programmer. Lastly, the talk will showcase some "bad practices" that can be fine or even good when used appropriately.