Contribute Media
A thank you to everyone who makes this possible: Read More

The Apprentice's Enthusiastic Guide to pandas (or how to look at the world through the gentle eyes of one)


The Pandas soon realized there's no way they are going to survive the ordeals and hardships of this world, if they didn't finally and without the blink of an eye of hesitation pull themselves together, stop being the lazy fluffy beings, they have long been known for and start reorganizing their lives ASAP. They needed a fresh view over the world and its intrinsic mechanisms, light had to be shed upon the information they possessed about survival, in a few words, they had to start over. This is how in the midst of the forest a high performative library was coming to life, whose powerful toolkit would enable them a long lasting life of happiness and joy. This long-dreamed library should import the information they have been gathering about the world for long gone centuries and help them look at it through different eyes. They wanted to structure their world views and beliefs into sensible types and categories, remove from their genes their procrastinative behavioural patterns, drop them altogether. After laborious efforts of dealing with missing data about their surroundings, grouping and counting the meaningful rest, filtering the nonsensical superstitions, they could finally and, without doubt, point out with precision, where the bamboo sprouts were freshest, most succulent, fiber rich, absolutely scrumptious and the moment of the year, dictated by the moon calendar, when they are fluffiest, cosiest, most willing and irresistibly fall for one another and cuddle up. They put all this secret survival kit into easily understandable pictures and graphs for the dreamers out of them, who weren't prepared to put in all the effort of learning all those complicated symbols, just in order to survive and just wanted to admire the sky goddess, the moon. But wait, they didn't have a name for their grandiose library, so they just wanted to make a statement of being the most diligent creature of them all and called it, simply and unmistakably, pandas!


Improve this page